Many of you may think I am on this Twilight kick, and to a point I am. But there is just something about Edward's face that reminds me of me when I am angry. He's just got that look of "Don't mess with me or you will get hurt" aka the "Sadorus Glare." This is exactly how I feel right now. I would say I am doing better with the whole Brady thing, much much better. I don't think about him as often I'm dating different boys a little bit. I feel like I am moving on, slowly but surely. Each day gets better. However, when I see things that remind me of him it can be hard, especially when I see him. I am back up at school and so is he. I actually saw him the first week of school. I saw him before he saw me and I thought of so many things I could do. I could ignore him, say hi to him, flip him off(which is something I don't really do but you will understand why I feel like doing it in a minute), but I decided to make eye contact with him and say hi. So that is what I did. He was on the phone and so luckily it was a quick almost painless passing. After the fact, I did pretty good. I wasn't hurting too bad. Another day, I was booking it up to the Rick's building (top of campus and I live at the bottom) when I looked up and there he was walking ahead of me on the phone again. I decided this time I didn't want to see him so I stayed behind him until he turned right to go to the Austen building. Flash forward to this morning, I'm walking home from my first class, I'm in the MC building when BAM there he is AGAIN! :( Of course we made eye contact again. I just gave him the "cool nod" if you will. If you don't know what that is I'll show you later..hehe. And he just looks back at me with THOSE EYES!!!! I hate it when people pity me! There is a time and a place for it. I know we all have our days when we throw our own little pity party and we tell people. But this is not what I am doing. I just can't take it anymore. I want him to smile at me or something...SOMETHING OTHER THAN THAT STUPID LOOK! I don't need or want his pity. I just want him to acknowledge me as a person and move on to his class. It is almost like he thinks I am still pining for him and so he feels bad. I guess it could also be that he feels bad for what he did to me. AS HE SHOULD, but he doesn't need to show me every time we lock eyes. He can shove his sorries in a sack! I almost want to flip him off next time I see him, just to see a different reaction on his face than that stupid pity! AUHHH! Breathe Breathe...Anyway, this is how I am feeling right now, and I'm starting to realize when I am angry, I need to start writing or typing my feelings out. I feel A LOT better when I do that. So thank you for letting me vent. Don't worry I won't really flip him off, it isn't my style...but a girl can dream can't she? :) Sorry, hopefully my posts won't always be so negative. I'll try to think of something positive for my next one! :)
P.S. Thanks to Edward for being my brilliant example of angry eyes..
Peaceout Peeps!
2 comments:
Maybe next time you see him, you should say, "Hi, I really don't need your pity stares. Have a great day." and keep on walking.
Next time you see him trip him!!!
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