If You Stare at me with those Pitiful Eyes One More Time I'm Gonna...You can Fill in the Blanks Yourself!

Many of you may think I am on this Twilight kick, and to a point I am. But there is just something about Edward's face that reminds me of me when I am angry. He's just got that look of "Don't mess with me or you will get hurt" aka the "Sadorus Glare." This is exactly how I feel right now. I would say I am doing better with the whole Brady thing, much much better. I don't think about him as often I'm dating different boys a little bit. I feel like I am moving on, slowly but surely. Each day gets better. However, when I see things that remind me of him it can be hard, especially when I see him. I am back up at school and so is he. I actually saw him the first week of school. I saw him before he saw me and I thought of so many things I could do. I could ignore him, say hi to him, flip him off(which is something I don't really do but you will understand why I feel like doing it in a minute), but I decided to make eye contact with him and say hi. So that is what I did. He was on the phone and so luckily it was a quick almost painless passing. After the fact, I did pretty good. I wasn't hurting too bad. Another day, I was booking it up to the Rick's building (top of campus and I live at the bottom) when I looked up and there he was walking ahead of me on the phone again. I decided this time I didn't want to see him so I stayed behind him until he turned right to go to the Austen building. Flash forward to this morning, I'm walking home from my first class, I'm in the MC building when BAM there he is AGAIN! :( Of course we made eye contact again. I just gave him the "cool nod" if you will. If you don't know what that is I'll show you later..hehe. And he just looks back at me with THOSE EYES!!!! I hate it when people pity me! There is a time and a place for it. I know we all have our days when we throw our own little pity party and we tell people. But this is not what I am doing. I just can't take it anymore. I want him to smile at me or something...SOMETHING OTHER THAN THAT STUPID LOOK! I don't need or want his pity. I just want him to acknowledge me as a person and move on to his class. It is almost like he thinks I am still pining for him and so he feels bad. I guess it could also be that he feels bad for what he did to me. AS HE SHOULD, but he doesn't need to show me every time we lock eyes. He can shove his sorries in a sack! I almost want to flip him off next time I see him, just to see a different reaction on his face than that stupid pity! AUHHH! Breathe Breathe...
Anyway, this is how I am feeling right now, and I'm starting to realize when I am angry, I need to start writing or typing my feelings out. I feel A LOT better when I do that. So thank you for letting me vent. Don't worry I won't really flip him off, it isn't my style...but a girl can dream can't she? :) Sorry, hopefully my posts won't always be so negative. I'll try to think of something positive for my next one! :)
P.S. Thanks to Edward for being my brilliant example of angry eyes..
Peaceout Peeps!

ENOUGH! I'VE HAD ENOUGH!!!!

Some of you may be looking at the title of my post and this marvelous picture of Edward and be thinking that I've had enough of Twilight. But alas, that is not the case. I'm still loving it. My reason for putting this picture up is to show how mad I am. Sparkly Edward Cullen is giving my angry eyes and face for me because you can't see me right now. :)

I've had enough of stupid roommates! I am living with five girls and all of them don't follow the rules up here, they talk about and do inappropriate things all the time whether a guy is at the apartment or not, they say awkward things to people, and they have no respect for authority figures. My room has become my sanctuary, as has my books.

I can only take so much! I know that I should be getting out and doing things, but truly I don't really have any friends up here. It is slowly starting to get better that way. I am meeting more people in the ward. So slowly I am making more friends, but I can't even really bring those friends to my apartment because of the risk. We have what you call an Honor Code here, so we have rules to follow. Here are a few of the rules: Be home by curfew, no being in the apartment with a guy alone, and NO boys in bedrooms. You'd think these rules would be fairly easy to follow, but no. All my roommates have done one or more of these things more than one time. I know we are free to make our own choices, but when their choices affect whether or not I feel comfortable in my own apartment where I live and pay rent too, it is just too much.

One time, my visiting teachers came over, and my roommates were watching Titanic, and of course it was around the awkward scenes. And then, they wouldn't even turn it down so I could hear my visiting teachers. Then another time, it was Karen's b-day(roommate) and her, Alice, and Viki are all really good friends. Karen got fake tattoos for her b-day. I think that is fine, no big deal right? Wrong! They started putting them in awkward places while a boy is sitting on the couch watching them do it. YIKES! Last night, Karen asked my FHE brother if he had chap stick. He said he had some at home, but that obviously wouldn't help her then. She then said, "oh well do you have any on your lips right now?" And he said "yeah, I could just wipe it off with my finger," and she said "that's not how I wanted to get it." They are ridiculous.

Then on Sunday, I had my home teachers come over to teach me. One's name is Joel, and the other one's name is Kevin (very cute by the way) And so he comes in and we sit at the counter to have the lesson because my roommates are sitting on all the couches. So then Kevin is asking me all these questions trying to get to know me, and my roommates keep interrupting. First they ask him if he is roommates with Brad, because apparently my roommates know Brad and they don't like him. And then they ask Kevin, "Oh, didn't you date Lindsey Nielsen??" This is while we are trying to get to know each other and have a spiritual lesson!! I guess this Lindsey hurt him. She wasn't very nice to him and so them bringing it up made it awkward for him..I WAS SO MAD! When they left, I basically chased them out the door and apologized for how awkward it was. Kevin accepted the apology and told me it wasn't my fault. However, he also said that we might have to meet somewhere else for the lesson next time because he didn't like my roommates and he said as soon as he walked in the door, he could tell the spirit wasn't right in our apartment. I am so grateful for good home teachers. Even though it was hard to concentrate in my apartment during the lesson, I was still able to feel the spirit, and I also think I was supposed to follow them out the door, so that I could know for myself, that i am not imagining what is happening or thinking it is worse than it is.

Sorry this post was a venting post, but I had to get it out. Also, does anyone have any suggestions for what I could do? Everyone I've talked to up here has told me to talk to them about it, but it is 5 against 1 so I don't know how well that would go over. Besides that, I might just blow up and give them the Edward glare. :)